http://www.jessicascott.net/blog

I wanted to say thanks to everyone who stopped by yesterday on the blog and commented. It’s really heartwarming to prove the media wrong. People still care that there is a war going on. Just look at the comments on Twitter and in the blog-sphere. Thank you for caring and for your continued support and we’ll see you on the high ground.

I never really got it before. Which is disappointing when you think that I’ve been a soldier for 14 years but I never truly understood what Memorial Day was truly about.

When I was five years old, my brother and I found a hand size American flag that had been run over by the lawn mower. I took it to school. My favorite teacher, Ms Emhoff took the flag from me and scolded me in front of the entire class. I didn’t understand until she told me her brother died in World War II. I should have gotten it then.

I never understood when I would see VietNam Vets crying at a parade for the fallen. I felt sad for them, but I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand when I saw an old man at the officer’s club wearing his Cav Stetson, just wanting to be around soldiers a little longer. I didn’t understand why my Command Sergeant Major lost his mind on a soldier for not shaving. It wasn’t about the beard. It was about wearing the uniform with pride, because in these colors, soldiers have died.

I started to understand the day we took our first casualty in country. The day we lost a battalion commander and his crew. I started to understand the first day I stood in the Memorial Ceremony and Taps ripped part of my soul out. And I started to understand the day I stood on the tarmac and saluted a flag draped coffin. It was the first. Unfortunately, I doubt it will be the last.

I walked into the chowhall today, acting like today was any other day. It was decorated in Red White and Blue. 

Alone at the front was a soldier’s cross. A kevlar helmet resting on a rifle, propped up in a pair of empty boots, a pair of dog tags hung around the rifle. 

Today I understand that it is not about the flag, or parades or those of us that are still fighting. Today it is about our fallen brothers and sisters. The ones who gave it all for something greater than themselves.

Today I understand.

And it hurts.

In other news…

I’m starting a new type of posting today to give folks an idea of the soundtrack to a current album. Since my Young Adult novel is still only about half way through, I thought I’d mention that the first half of the book was written to Hurt, Red and Age of Daze. The second half of this book is chugging right along since I discovered Digital Summer as well as 7 Days Away. The song Rescue me, by Digital Summer is completely capturing the mood for this book, as is the rest of their awesome EP The Hollow.

If you like melodic rock, check these guys out. And, when this book hits the shelves, maybe you’ll be able to pick up a hint of their influence between the pages.

Anyway, with the new website design come something else new. As those of you know who’ve been following me, I was disappointed a couple of weeks ago to see that not only did a NYT Bestselling author have a book out called Shattered, it was also about a wounded GI. What’s a girl to do, right?

Change the titles. While I’d originally decided to stick to the same family of words and go with Broken, guess what? I changed my mind. I was trying to think of something iconic, that didn’t sound like half a dozen other titles out there. I’m shooting for something that stands out. Here goes: 

After the War becomes War’s Darkest Loss

Shattered becomes War’s Darkest Fear

All That Remains becomes War’s Darkest Sin

Burning Out becomes War’s Darkest Choice

If they sound kind of dark, that’s because they are. I do my damndest not to candy coat soldiers’ issues with my work and I’m kind of liking the title and the constant feel to them. Plus, the titles give a little more of a hint as to what’s between the pages.

I’d love thoughts and feedback both on the titles and the new site!

Here’s the link. Check it out. We’ve got some fantastic writers in the group and this series is simply going to rock!

Yeah, it’s a great idea to try and write something you have no idea about. But I digress.

This book is kicking my ass and I think I figured out why. In my adult novels, I’m not pulling my punches. If a throat needs to be cut – figuratively of course – then so be it. If my characters move to a point where they have sex, yup, all fine and good.

But in this one, I’m trying to get into the head of a seventeen year old girl who has been made an outcast in her school. Her friends are having sex. Her little sister is playing the choking game, albeit unwillingly. And I read several scathing articles about some of the popular YA books out there that venerate sex, money and popularity like nothing else. It’s mean girls times a hundred.

Again, I say that having NOT read any of these books – though I plan on it so that I have an idea about the market.

Here’s my issue: I’m writing a book for kids. Basically, the market for YA is 14 and up. Middle grade is 12 ish. I have 2 daughters that will someday be reading in the YA market.

I’m hung up on my morality. I’m writing a book that other people’s kids are going to read (at least that’s the hope) and more than anything, I feel like I have a social responsibility to write something that I would be okay with my own kids reading, right?

I mean, even in my adult novels, when a throat needs to be cut, there’s an underlying issue there. I’m hoping my books deal with some tough issues – combat zone choices and their impact, right and wrong, good and bad. Does doing a bad deed make someone a bad person? That kind of thing. So I’m hoping there’s substance to my books.

With my YA, I’m pulling back, trying to remember how I felt when I was in high school. What did I think about the girls who were having sex back then – because contrary to popular belief, we all weren’t -. What do I remember about the ‘popular girls’?

I want to write a book that talks to those girls that aren’t in the clique but who still have value as people even if they aren’t the richest, the prettiest or the best at sports. I want to write about a young woman who has to deal with everyone around her doing these things and has to make her own choices because her parents are so wrapped up in their lives, they can’t see that their kids still need them.

So what’s my problem? In writing this book, I worry that I’m somehow glamorizing what happens to my characters. And yet, I worry that as I write this that people will think I’m condoning what I write about.

I guess we’ll see where the story takes me for now. This is one book that has tortured me, though, because I worry about my own daughters reading it. And it would make me the ultimate hypocrite if I put something out there for other people’s kids without considering the impact to my own.

Also, please bear in mind, everything I post has been scrubbed for OPSEC. I’m not going to post anything about operations or anything else spicy or scandalous. Nor will you find that in my Tweets or on Facebook. I’m highly conscious of what I put out here and will post nothing that detracts from our mission over here.

That being said, the few times I do voice my opinion about certain issues, they are MINE. I’m not a spokesperson for anyone other than myself and I am no one’s mouthpiece. Those of you that know me already know I’m pretty opinionated but I do censor myself here so as not to bring discredit upon my unit, my profession or my nation.

I won’t post anything here that I wouldn’t want my mother, my soldiers, or my superiors reading.

I’ll talk about things from a romance writer’s perspective, which, let’s face it, involves gender issues, sex, and other areas of intimacy. But please know, I’m very conscientious about what I post.

That’s all. Just in case you missed it.